Even though I am happy with the way my body has been taking the weight, I sometimes wish I gained weight like some women who managed to maintain an hourglass shape with narrow waist despite gaining weight in all other areas. However, just like I evolved from resistance (wanting to lose weight), to acceptance (be OK with it), to loving the way my chubby body looks and feels, I have evolved in the same way with regards to my growing love handles. I learned that they are more appreciated than I expected and that they make my body shape more unique. Moreover, I love how they feel and love it when people grab them when hugging me.

So I have learned to be happy with what I have (big love handles) instead of being unhappy about what I do not have (a narrow waist line).

It is the same with my free videos on my YouTube channel. Even though nothing has changed to my YouTube channel and even though I am providing more videos there than on this site, several people lament there is since last year an additional paid option they cannot afford. Some even go as far as to unsubscribe from the free YouTube channel just because there is an additional option here. They do not realize that the income from this website is what keeps the free YouTube channel alive. My other blog post explains why I chose this option over others.

It makes sense that only the hardcore fans buy the videos. Many people who said they would support me on curvage, patreon, onlyfans, etc end up not buying any videos despite them being a much cheaper alternative at only $2.99 to $3.99 for 5 to 10 minute videos. This is just an observation. There are no hard feelings from my part, especially now that the pandemic is hitting all of us hard I understand that money is tight for everybody.

But that includes me too. I have full time job and a part time teaching job to make ends meet. While I enjoy making videos more than my part time job, the fastest way to pay the bills is still the part time job. Otherwise, I would have already quit my part time job and would be making a new video every week for my website instead of one every 3 months or so. Because the income from videos is limited, my part time job gets priority and the videos remain a hobby. That is why I only found time for the latest free video on YouTube but no time for a new one here.

The other thing is that there are 56 free videos on YouTube versus 3 on this site. Even though the free videos are shorter, their combined viewing time is a lot longer than the 3 on this site. And that does not even include Instagram which is also free. Because what is free is taken for granted, most people only watch a few videos on my YouTube channel and those few videos are only watched partially, usually less than 30%. Most people are unaware they missed the best parts which are most of the time not at the beginning but in the middle and towards the end. So just like with my love handles, the key to being happy is to be happy with what you have for free (in this case Instagram and 56 free YouTube videos) instead of worrying what you can only have for a small payment (in this case 3 videos).

Also, even those of you who cannot afford my videos can still make a big difference by clicking thumbs up and commenting on my videos and by subscribing to my YouTube channel. Those things are the only indication I have that there is continued interest in my free content on YouTube.

Even though the YouTube algorithms are not friendly to my type of content, I have the impression that interest on YouTube is fading compared to the when I started. For example, Instagram went from 10,000 followers to more than 14,000 followers in just 17 WEEKS while YouTube went from 10,000 to less than 13,000 subscribers in 17 MONTHS. And in the last 5 weeks alone, Instagram went from 14,000 to 15,700 followers while YouTube went from 13,000 to 13,050. That's 34 times slower! What happens on a typical DAY on Instagram takes 5 WEEKS on YouTube. Something is not right somewhere.

As a result, I am creating more content for Instagram nowadays. One could argue it is a vicious circle because I provide more content on Instagram. However, the latest video here (3:43 minutes) only added 5 subscribers in the first 40 hours. The trailer of the same video on Instagram (10 seconds) added 50 followers in 18 hours. That is 10 times more in less than half the time. This could indicate a problem with the algorithms, or that the Instagram audience likes my content more, or both.

However, given that I have 13,000 subscribers on YouTube and almost 16,000 followers on Instagram one would expect a similar number of likes. But that is not the case at all. The latest video here (3:43 minutes) only received 240 likes in the first 40 hours. The trailer of the same video on Instagram got 800 likes in just 18 hours. This is more than three times more, in less than half the time, for the same video even though the Instagram version was 40 times shorter! This is a very strong indication that my content is more appreciated on Instagram. Alternatively it means I should start posting 10 second videos here as well instead of 3 to 4 minute videos. However, the YouTube algorithms do not favor short clips yet.

For now, all indicators are flashing a stalling interest on YouTube and a rapidly growing interest on Instagram so it makes sense to adjust my content and posting schedules accordingly.

Whatever happens to my YouTube channel, thank you for those of you who have supported me in all these years with likes, kind comments, subscriptions, donations, purchases of my videos, etc. It has achieved its main mission to become comfortable with my weight gain a long time ago and covered some of the expenses I put into this project.

What happens now is entirely in your hands because what you do, or do not do, has a very a big impact how much free content you will receive. It will even determine if my YouTube channel will continue to exist or simply disappear like so many similar other channels on YouTube. While, nothing lasts forever, you have full control over how long the free YouTube will last, pretty much the same way NetFlix decides based on user feedback whether there will be a new season for a particular show.

As I predicted this post is causing more people to unsubscribe from my YouTube channel and press thumb down on my videos (like someone just did systematically to ALL my videos, I pity the people who have nothing else to do) to "get back at me" for writing this. It is a confirmation I should close my YouTube channel with longer videos and instead focus on Instagram with pictures and short clips. The YouTube channel was a free gift to you. With your combined action you have had a choice to make it grow like my body or to make it disappear for good.



Date 5/14/2021


Date 5/28/2021

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