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Even though I am happy with the way my body has been taking the weight, I sometimes wish I gained weight like some women who managed to maintain an hourglass shape with narrow waist despite gaining weight in all other areas.

Just like on eBay you have the buyers and the sellers, on YouTube you have the viewers and the creators. Everybody knows that. What is less well known, and even less well understood, is that between the buyers and sellers and between viewers and creators there are opaque algorithms that decide who gets to see what. These decisions are are optimized for what eBay and YouTube want and NOT for what the buyers, sellers, viewers, and creators want. For example, YouTube will promote videos that make more money, regardless of whether the content is good. They have also double standards when it comes to community guidelines. They cherry pick certain channels like mine to show they are enforcing the community guidelines but allow others who violate them to earn advertising. For example, this lewd channel still earns advertising revenue on some videos while my channel cannot earn advertising on any video because it is considered "sexually gratifying". Sadly, as individuals we have no recourse against these powerful corporations and their algorithms. The results is less content from creators like myself.

Out of frustration with my weight gain, I set up my YouTube channel in 2016 than to find out what people though of my weight gain. I never had any plans or expectations. In those four years, 50 videos drew more than 2,600,000 views and more than 12,000 subscribers despite me not being active for 21 months in 2016 and 2017. I created 70 minutes of video footage which were watched a staggering 19000 hours. Still small by YouTube standards, these numbers are way beyond my wildest imagination.

What was even more unexpected is that the channel helped me to evolve from resistance (wanting to lose weight) to acceptance (be OK with it) to loving the way my chubby body looks and feels. Today I feel much more happy and confident with my body compared to when I was slim. I never felt this sexy before and realize now I that I did not even know what feeling sexy meant when I was still slim. While I never gained intentionally, I love to indulge without having to watch my weight and enjoy the gains that come with it. So I stopped watching my weight and will allow it gradually go up further as long as my health permits. In view of this, I still balance the sinful stuff with healthy food and still exercise so my health is still fine, even though my BMI is already in the obese territory.